Everyone Can Win

The most common phrase used about negotiation is “win-win”. This clever catchphrase (popularised by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their ground-breaking book Getting To Yes over 30 years ago) is the most quoted — and least enacted — phrase in negotiation. Just like in sport where they say “everyone’s a winner”. No one really believes it — especially the one who came second.

Here are three main obstacles to win-win thinking:

Hyper-competitiveness

It’s only human nature. People are competitive beings — be it in business or in sport — and old habits die hard.

When having to face-off with another person, it is very easy to adopt a “win at all costs” mentality. The value of the deal becomes secondary to showing who the best dealmaker is. 

This always ends with one party feeling like the loser, and this can be toxic for the relationship. The most likely action for someone who feels they got a “raw deal” in the negotiation is to use every opportunity to recover what they feel they deserve.

The other party, who walked away from the negotiation feeling like a winner, suddenly finds that every interaction becomes more difficult — and costly.

A reputation as a tough dealmaker can backfire. Once the world’s richest man, J Paul Getty said: “You must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always making all the money, you won’t have many deals.”

Even when you are genuinely seeking a mutually beneficial agreement, it is difficult not to have thoughts such as “I want a win-win outcome…just as long as I win the most!” or “I want a deal that is fair to both sides… as long as I get the better deal!”

Fixed pie mentality

Thinking this way is inevitable if you believe that you are negotiating over a “fixed pie”. The only way that the other party can get a larger piece is for you to take less.

Very occasionally, a deal must be made where this is the case; but, in a majority of cases, the value that each walks away with depends on their ability to extract the maximum value out of the deal for both sides.

While this should be the aim for everyone going into a negotiation, most fall into the old-style methodology of taking an opening position and then defending it as hard as possible. This position-to-position negotiating is just haggling — no more sophisticated than bargaining over a souvenir in a tourist bazaar.

In win-win negotiation, value is created or carved up. But the only way this can happen is for each party to move beyond defending their position to sharing of interests.

It is only by each party having an understanding of what the other side is trying to achieve that they can identify opportunities for creating value. This brings me to the third point: needless secrecy.

Needless secrecy

Over the years, I have witnessed thousands of people in negotiation role-plays. I see one consistent behaviour trait: unnecessarily withholding information from the other party.

This is frustrating because, often, sharing that piece of information would move the negotiation forward. As the course creator, I know these role-play scenarios very well and there is no way that sharing that information could have been detrimental to them; yet these experienced, professional, intelligent people withheld it. Why? Because they could. 

When questioned in the debriefing, they said they didn’t share it because they could not see any benefit to their team to share it. And they were kicking themselves when they realised that if they had shared it with the other party, it would have opened up an entirely new line of opportunity.

Go for win-win

So, to make win-win a reality:

 Don’t let your will to win cloud your judgment. Define your alternatives to a successful negotiation, know what your walk-away position is, and determine the value of your relationship with the other party — and use these as your reference points.

 Look to create value out of the negotiation, not just carve it up.

 If you can determine that sharing certain information cannot disadvantage you, then share it — you never know what this may lead to.

Article by Kevin Ryan, an international speaker, workshop leader and author with Training Edge International. For details, e-mail kevin.ryan@trainingedgeasia.com or visit www.trainingedgeasia.com

Timing Is Everything

Ask any comedian about the secret to telling great jokes and he will say “timing”. Baseball great Warren Spahn summed up the game with, “Hitting is timing. Pitching is upsetting timing.” 

Matthew Perry, of hit TV show Friends, said: “I love the idea of ‘the one’ but I actually believe that there isn’t a Miss Right. There are 12,000 Miss Rights out there and it’s all timing.” 

Well, it’s the same in negotiation. Your timing — especially at critical points — can determine the success or failure of your negotiation.

When you start

The success of your negotiation will be determined as much by the work you do before you get to the negotiating table as by what you do at it.

Relationships are rarely built across a negotiating table — this is where they are tested. So, you need to make sure the relationship is strong enough to withstand any test.

The better your relationship with the other side at the start, the better you will be able to understand their interests in the negotiation which will open up more options for a mutually beneficial agreement.

How well prepared are you? Do you have all the available information? Do you know what they know? Which of you is under the most time pressure? Is the cycle of the seasons, the market, the news working for or against you? These are all questions you should answer before you start negotiating.

When you say no

The ability to say “no” and still have the other party want to negotiate with you is the mark of a great negotiator. The latest book by William Ury, a senior fellow at Harvard University and one of the greatest thinkers in negotiation today, is titled The Power Of A Positive No. 

 If this negotiation fails, what alternative ways can you meet your needs? These options should be determined as part of your preparation and monitored because in a fast-moving world, they may change over the course of the negotiation. 

Most importantly, these act as your reference point — especially when the bargaining gets tight — so you know when it is best to walk away.

When you give in

Negotiation is about give and take. Part of your preparation is to know what you are prepared to give, and what you expect in return. Smart negotiating involves “giving in” on the issues that are of relatively low importance to you and getting in return something that has higher value to you.

When to put your best deal on the table

Research has shown that most negotiated agreements are reached within sight of the deadline.

If negotiations are concluded early, some people will think: “If I’d held back a little longer, could I have got a better deal?”

It’s only human nature that most of us don’t put our best deal on the table until right on the deadline because we don’t want to give away too much too soon.

Making your offer “time-limited” can be a good way to get the other party to come forward with their best offer.

So, whether you are negotiating a multi-million dollar deal, a raise in your salary or which movie to see with your spouse —your timing will determine your success.

Article by Kevin Ryan, an international speaker, workshop leader and author with Training Edge International. E-mail enquiries@trainingedgeasia.com or visit www.trainingedgeasia.com

Boost Your Reputation

Reputations either open doors or slam them shut, and if it’s the latter, there’s no better time than now to resolve to do things differently in future.

People make judgments about business and individuals in an instant. So it pays to have as positive a reputation to keep as many doors open as possible for as long as possible.

However, there’s a catch — even though we’ve been brought up to believe we can control our reputation, the reality is we can’t.

But we can, and should, influence our reputation to stack the odds in our favour and help people think well of us as much as possible.

No doubt there may have been times in the past when you’ve said or done something you know probably won’t make you or your business look as good as it could.

But don’t worry, make the following 10 reputation resolutions and they will help you to create a new and reputation-enhancing future:

1. I resolve to think before I speak. I have two ears and one mouth and I aim to use them in that proportion.

2. I resolve to hold my tongue and count to three before responding to comments and situations that make me angry or defensive, online or off.

3. I resolve to never bad-mouth anyone, in person or on the Internet – ever.

4. I resolve to treat my staff, clients and customers fairly and graciously and value their contributions to our business successes.

5. I resolve to support the people, processes and partnerships operating within my business and ensure they are enhancing, rather than damaging, the reputation of the business.

6. I resolve to be truthful and transparent in my dealings with people and create a climate of mutual trust and respect.

7. I resolve to keep promises I make, both to myself and others, and to avoid over-promising and under-delivering.

8. I resolve to “pay-it-forward” when I can, with no thought of return, and enjoy the pleasure of giving without strings.

9. I resolve to accept responsibility for my actions and behaviours and avoid blaming others.

10. I resolve to avoid jumping to conclusions and labelling people. Rather, I resolve to accept people as they are and welcoming the diversity life brings.

If you focus on one or more that resonates with you, put them into practice, you’ll find yourself attracting clients, customers and opportunities and be perceived as someone people are happy to be associated with and recommend.

Even if you haven’t had much success making and keeping resolutions in the past, these reputation resolutions really could mean the difference between having a reputation you’re proud of, and that opens doors wide, and one that makes it harder for you to achieve what you want to because clients, customers and people around you have doubts about your integrity and ability to deliver.

No matter what has occurred in the past, it’s easy enough to create a new, reputation-enhancing future.

Sometimes, actively “patching things up” with people around you may be required, and sometimes it’s more appropriate simply to “move on” to a more positive future without going over old ground.

Whatever choices you make, if you act with integrity, build trust and accept responsibility for your actions, the chances are you’ll move through 2012 and beyond with a reputation that opens doors and creates huge opportunities.

Certainly, stacking the odds in your favour can help you increase your perceived value and worth, stand out from the crowd for all the right reasons and help create a winning reputation.

Article by Hannah Samuel, international speaker with Training Edge International and an award-winning speaker, columnist and author. She speaks, writes and mentors worldwide on issues around reputation, trust and integrity. E-mail: Hannah@trainingedgeasia.com Website: www.trainingedgeasia.com

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Tell a Good Story

PRESENTATIONS supported by graphs, charts and bullet points can convey facts, but when it comes to creating an emotional connection with other human beings, sales people need another tool — one that engages people, gets them to let down their guard and be willing to be influenced.

The lost art of storytelling

Since the 1990s, storytelling — or the art of business narrative — has been slowly but surely making its way into business communication.

Storytelling is a powerful skill largely under-tapped in a sales environment. The reluctance to use it may stem from the fact that we tend to dismiss something so personal and almost childish, as having no place in a serious business environment.

Used in the proper context and at the right time, telling a story is a means of authentically sharing yourself such that others believe you empathise with their situation, resonate with their inner struggles and that you may have a workable solution.

This is the first step of all human relationships that produce breakthrough outcomes.

Storytelling in sales

To apply storytelling in business, you need to frame your stories to support the purpose of the interaction and the interests of the audience in an authentic manner.

Your own life and day-to-day experience is the best source of good stories. You can also draw from what you read and what you heard from others, as long as it resonates with you.

There are three key elements in constructing a good story:

 Framing: This is arguably the most important step, as you need to introduce the story elements to clearly demonstrate relevance. Be concise and use words that grab attention and generate excitement.

 Action: This is where you tell what happens to the central character, the challenges and problems faced and the actions taken along the journey. You can make this as dramatic as the occasion allows so long as the story does not lose credibility or become long-winded.

 Resolution: Here, you share what finally happens and what lessons the audience should derive from the story. You need to link the conclusion back to why you are sharing the story in the first place. The audience needs to be absolutely clear on what message you wanted them to get.

Here is an example drawn from a real experience:

A few years ago, I was working to secure a huge renewal contract from a key client, a regional bank.

Our software is a complex technical product. My team had executed an excellent service and sales campaign with an airtight business case to boot. Nothing could go wrong, so we thought.

At the last moment, the chief information officer requested we make a presentation to his chairman, who needed to better understand how our software could help the bank.

The day came, and one hour into the presentation, the chairman seemed impatient and even slightly irritated.

While my team of experts was offering complex, jargon-filled explanations, an officer from the bank stepped in to save the day.

She said: ‘Mr Chairman, you know how we aspire to offer our customers the best service through Internet banking? Our biggest headache is to make the older-generation IT systems present data that is real-time, consistent and Internet-ready.

‘This software is like a super-fast universal translator which helps all our IT systems understand each other instantly, retrieve the right information and present them in a single page easily readable by our customers when they log in. No more mistakes, reworking or delays.’

At this, the chairman visibly relaxed. It was clear he got what he needed. The contract was issued the very next day.”

This story can be used to underscore that sales people need to be flexible in presenting the right amount of detail and using language that is appropriate for different types of audiences. 

Give too many details, use too much jargon, speak in the wrong tone — and you may lose the listener (and the sale) altogether.

Storytelling is an easy but powerful means to help you create instant emotional and impactful connection with your customers. It is a game changing leadership skill worth learning and doing well.

Article by Julian Cheong, a senior consultant with Training Edge International who has been a top-performing direct sales and account management professional for the past 17 years. E-mail julian.cheong@trainingedgeasia.com or visit www.trainingedgeasia.com.

Think Out of the Frame

Many people get stuck in their way of doing things. You work hard to become more efficient, but this is not enough.

To be truly successful, you need to find innovative ways of doing things that are radically different from others. Only in this way can you achieve success in your endeavours.


You are and can be creative

People have an in-built creative faculty. Roger Sperry, who won the Nobel Prize for his simplified model of left and right brain functions, says that the right brain helps you with intuition and to think creatively. The left brain deals with logic and language.

The reason you tend to think more logically than creatively is because many traditional education systems place an emphasis on fact-based learning.

Another reason is because that people are creatures of habit. You tend to do what you have done before because this produces a predictable result. Yet another reason is the fear of ridicule if you were to try something new and you fail. 

Here are three techniques to help you overcome these mental blocks and generate new ideas:

1. Brainstorming and fantasy

Fantasy has no limits and allowing the mind to go where it pleases can result in breakthrough ideas. A common activity using this technique is brainstorming. 

A shoe manufacturer was brainstorming to develop a new line of jogging shoes. Many ideas were thrown about, but the most ridiculous one came from a salesman who lived near an abattoir. 

He suggested sewing cow’s eyes at the front of the shoes so that they could see where they were going. Someone suggested that instead of the shoes being able to see where they were going, it would be better for other people to see where the shoes were going.

To this end, a proposal was made to add a reflector strip to the heel end of the shoe. Today, there are many styles of jogging shoes with luminous strips that glow in the dark so that the jogger can be easily spotted.

This has led to a whole new industry dealing with luminous strips on tracksuits, helmets and bicycle pedals.

2. Associations

The idea is to be able to see some patterns among different ideas and link them for a meaningful application.

The success story of the product “liquid paper” is a case of connecting painting to typing mistakes.

Ms Bette Nesmith worked as the executive secretary in a bank in Texas, in the United States, in the 1950s.  When the first electric typewriter came out into the market, her kind-hearted boss bought her one. 

She soon discovered that it was difficult to erase mistakes made by this typewriter model. She recalled painting holiday windows at the bank, and how she noticed that an artist never corrected an error by erasing, but by painting over it.

With the help of a chemistry teacher, Ms Nesmith developed an opaque white liquid which could be applied with a small paintbrush to cover up typing errors on paper.

She began marketing this fluid as “Mistake Out” in 1956. The name was later changed to “Liquid Paper”. In 1979, she sold the product to Gillette Corporation for a princely sum of US$ 47.5 million (S$58 million).

3. Breaking rules

Rules traditionally tie people down. Since breakthrough thinking is about coming up with something new and different, we sometimes need to break the rules.

A hotel was planning to upgrade its facilities, which included adding a new lift in the building. A group of professionals surveyed the ground floor, but could not find the most suitable spot to cut a hole through the ceiling to install the lift.

There were too many pipes and conduits occupying space above the ceilings. A janitor cleaning the floor overheard the discussion and became annoyed.

He reprimanded them, saying: “It is easy for you to drill holes, but I’m the one who has to clean up the mess. Why don’t you build your lift outside and let the passengers have a good view as well!”

The professionals found merit in this suggestion. Today, many tall buildings are fitted with external glass bubble lifts that offer their occupants a marvellous view.

Unleash creativity

There are several techniques that help us to awaken our innate creative potential and generate new ideas.

All we need to do to achieve breakthrough thinking is to reframe our minds to think differently each time we are faced with a challenge.  If we turn this activity into a habit, we are well on our way to achieving success in life.

Article by John Teo, senior consultant of Training Edge International. He brings his experience in management, business and magic to his Creativity and Innovation workshops. E-mail him at john.teo@trainingedgeasia.com or visit www.trainingedgeasia.com

Give Recognition Where It’s Due

A poll of employee attitudes in 14 countries has ranked Singapore bottom in terms of overall workplace happiness. The results place Singapore last in three major areas — Singaporeans least enjoy going to work, are the least loyal and have the least supportive workplaces.

Adding weight and significance to the last point, another recent poll on Singapore showed that of the top three things that people wanted at work, recognition and praise came in second, ahead of money and benefits.

Businesswoman Mary Kay Ash summarised the situation perfectly: “There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise.”

Recognition and praise are indeed high-octane fuel. When you receive a genuine compliment, it makes you want to go the extra mile for the person who bestowed the compliment.

If this were not important to you, you would not treasure all the mementos of awards, plaques, appreciative notes and e-mails that you have received over the years.

Here are tips on how to make people feel more appreciated:

Pay attention to people with common courtesy. Say “Good morning”. Ask people how their weekend turned out. Ask about other people’s children.

Listen to what your co-workers, peers and staff members have to say. Give your full attention to the person seeking your attention. You make people feel special when you listen to them without being distracted.

Use powerful, positive language in your interaction with others. Say “please” and “thank you” and “you're doing a good job”. Say “We couldn’t have accomplished the goal without you”. Powerful, positive recognition makes people feel important.

Put praise in writing. A “thank you” note to the employee magnifies the impact of the recognition.

Keep your commitments to staff members. Never promise that which you may not be able to deliver. Don’t do it unless you know you can keep your promise.

Give employees public credit for contributions. The rule is “praise in public; criticise in private”.

Genuine appreciation is a key factor in your relationship with your staff yet many well-meaning and otherwise caring managers are reluctant to express their appreciation of others’ talents and contributions.

Some people find giving praise a very difficult thing to do publicly and even harder privately. If you have difficulty praising others, analyse the root causes.

Sometimes, withholding praise is simply due to a lack of time. Praise has a limited “best before” date. Don’t delay its expression or wait until performance review time — when you see something that is worthy of applauding, do so promptly.

Make your words memorable being specific about the achievement. Not many people remember the perfunctory “job well done”, but they would remember someone who tells them “this was pure genius” or “I would have missed this if you hadn't picked it up”. The praise does not have to be elaborate; it just needs to be genuine.

Practise these three steps to give praise and recognition successfully:

Describe specifically the achievement or improvement. The employee needs to know exactly what he is being praised for. Avoid vague phrases like “You’ve made a lot of progress”.

Instead, say: “Since our meeting last month about filing your reports, I have seen that you’ve cleared the backlog and are up to date at the end of each day.”

Explain why this is important to you, the team or the company. This emphasises the value of what the employee has done and makes the praise more effective.

Give appropriate praise or recognition and thank the person. This may be a simple “Thank you”, or in the form of further recognition such as a note in the file or a commendation.

These simple steps all contribute in their own way to building a more supportive workplace that employees value so highly.

Things Will Get Better

TODAY’S turbulent business environment demands that individuals and organisations perform at higher levels and respond with greater speed than at any time in the past.

Organisational leaders and team members alike must place new emphasis on learning and harnessing individual and collective creativity.

The challenging global environment is increasing the degree of complexity for organisations operating anywhere in the world.

With this arises the need for a different kind of inquiry in the organisation. The requirement for greater openness to uncertainty will challenge the sense of purpose, identity and self-efficacy of leaders and the people working for them.

Restore confidence

In today’s unpredictable business environment, clear leadership is needed more than ever.

To be a successful leader, you need the right set of skills and, in particular, a process approach to your task of steering a team or your organisation.

An uncertain outlook brings with it the higher possibility of having to deal with turbulence in the workplace as well.

Today’s leaders have the tough job of restoring confidence in and respect for leadership and business in the face of a recessionary global economy and in a climate of cynicism and mistrust.

They are being called upon to set an example and to show the organisations and people they lead the way forward.

Practise self-reflection and emotional mastery

A successful leader ensures that his people are aligned with the organisation by engaging them effectively.

He does this by generating awareness and promoting understanding of the differences between individuals in the way they prefer to work and the way they make decisions or manage relationships.

By creating a common understanding and a common sense of purpose, a shared commitment to action evolves.

Perhaps the most important thing a leader can do when there is turbulence is to be calm and maintain a sense of optimism. He must have the discipline and focus to remain steady within himself, and the emotional maturity to calm followers and keep the organisation functioning effectively when the ride gets bumpy.

Engage your employees

To be a successful leader, you must set a clear, compelling direction that empowers your employees.

You hired these employees. Use their abilities and talents to engage in creating a positive future for your company.

Communicate openly and honestly. Keep your employees informed and updated, even if the news is not always good.

Continue to focus on growth and development. Provide your employees with opportunities to grow and develop. It does not have to cost you a lot of money. For instance, allow them to work on projects that will expand their skills or cross-train in other departments to expand their knowledge.

Recognise and reward high performance. Find creative ways to reward your top performers. Even if you do not have the budget for bonuses and perks, there are simple things you can do to let your employees know you appreciate them.

Look to the future

Effective leadership behaviours will provide a sense of psychological safety and emotional containment in organisations undergoing great uncertainty, instability and changes that are often painful.

Leaders can deal honestly with their people, convey genuine empathy and create a powerful sense of hope in the future.

Leaders who achieve this will help employees deal more effectively with difficult experiences and inspire tremendous loyalty and trust.

Article by Sattar Bawany, senior adviser of Training Edge International and International Professional Management Association. 



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