Everyone Can Win

The most common phrase used about negotiation is “win-win”. This clever catchphrase (popularised by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their ground-breaking book Getting To Yes over 30 years ago) is the most quoted — and least enacted — phrase in negotiation. Just like in sport where they say “everyone’s a winner”. No one really believes it — especially the one who came second.

Here are three main obstacles to win-win thinking:

Hyper-competitiveness

It’s only human nature. People are competitive beings — be it in business or in sport — and old habits die hard.

When having to face-off with another person, it is very easy to adopt a “win at all costs” mentality. The value of the deal becomes secondary to showing who the best dealmaker is. 

This always ends with one party feeling like the loser, and this can be toxic for the relationship. The most likely action for someone who feels they got a “raw deal” in the negotiation is to use every opportunity to recover what they feel they deserve.

The other party, who walked away from the negotiation feeling like a winner, suddenly finds that every interaction becomes more difficult — and costly.

A reputation as a tough dealmaker can backfire. Once the world’s richest man, J Paul Getty said: “You must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always making all the money, you won’t have many deals.”

Even when you are genuinely seeking a mutually beneficial agreement, it is difficult not to have thoughts such as “I want a win-win outcome…just as long as I win the most!” or “I want a deal that is fair to both sides… as long as I get the better deal!”

Fixed pie mentality

Thinking this way is inevitable if you believe that you are negotiating over a “fixed pie”. The only way that the other party can get a larger piece is for you to take less.

Very occasionally, a deal must be made where this is the case; but, in a majority of cases, the value that each walks away with depends on their ability to extract the maximum value out of the deal for both sides.

While this should be the aim for everyone going into a negotiation, most fall into the old-style methodology of taking an opening position and then defending it as hard as possible. This position-to-position negotiating is just haggling — no more sophisticated than bargaining over a souvenir in a tourist bazaar.

In win-win negotiation, value is created or carved up. But the only way this can happen is for each party to move beyond defending their position to sharing of interests.

It is only by each party having an understanding of what the other side is trying to achieve that they can identify opportunities for creating value. This brings me to the third point: needless secrecy.

Needless secrecy

Over the years, I have witnessed thousands of people in negotiation role-plays. I see one consistent behaviour trait: unnecessarily withholding information from the other party.

This is frustrating because, often, sharing that piece of information would move the negotiation forward. As the course creator, I know these role-play scenarios very well and there is no way that sharing that information could have been detrimental to them; yet these experienced, professional, intelligent people withheld it. Why? Because they could. 

When questioned in the debriefing, they said they didn’t share it because they could not see any benefit to their team to share it. And they were kicking themselves when they realised that if they had shared it with the other party, it would have opened up an entirely new line of opportunity.

Go for win-win

So, to make win-win a reality:

 Don’t let your will to win cloud your judgment. Define your alternatives to a successful negotiation, know what your walk-away position is, and determine the value of your relationship with the other party — and use these as your reference points.

 Look to create value out of the negotiation, not just carve it up.

 If you can determine that sharing certain information cannot disadvantage you, then share it — you never know what this may lead to.

Article by Kevin Ryan, an international speaker, workshop leader and author with Training Edge International. For details, e-mail kevin.ryan@trainingedgeasia.com or visit www.trainingedgeasia.com

Timing Is Everything

Ask any comedian about the secret to telling great jokes and he will say “timing”. Baseball great Warren Spahn summed up the game with, “Hitting is timing. Pitching is upsetting timing.” 

Matthew Perry, of hit TV show Friends, said: “I love the idea of ‘the one’ but I actually believe that there isn’t a Miss Right. There are 12,000 Miss Rights out there and it’s all timing.” 

Well, it’s the same in negotiation. Your timing — especially at critical points — can determine the success or failure of your negotiation.

When you start

The success of your negotiation will be determined as much by the work you do before you get to the negotiating table as by what you do at it.

Relationships are rarely built across a negotiating table — this is where they are tested. So, you need to make sure the relationship is strong enough to withstand any test.

The better your relationship with the other side at the start, the better you will be able to understand their interests in the negotiation which will open up more options for a mutually beneficial agreement.

How well prepared are you? Do you have all the available information? Do you know what they know? Which of you is under the most time pressure? Is the cycle of the seasons, the market, the news working for or against you? These are all questions you should answer before you start negotiating.

When you say no

The ability to say “no” and still have the other party want to negotiate with you is the mark of a great negotiator. The latest book by William Ury, a senior fellow at Harvard University and one of the greatest thinkers in negotiation today, is titled The Power Of A Positive No. 

 If this negotiation fails, what alternative ways can you meet your needs? These options should be determined as part of your preparation and monitored because in a fast-moving world, they may change over the course of the negotiation. 

Most importantly, these act as your reference point — especially when the bargaining gets tight — so you know when it is best to walk away.

When you give in

Negotiation is about give and take. Part of your preparation is to know what you are prepared to give, and what you expect in return. Smart negotiating involves “giving in” on the issues that are of relatively low importance to you and getting in return something that has higher value to you.

When to put your best deal on the table

Research has shown that most negotiated agreements are reached within sight of the deadline.

If negotiations are concluded early, some people will think: “If I’d held back a little longer, could I have got a better deal?”

It’s only human nature that most of us don’t put our best deal on the table until right on the deadline because we don’t want to give away too much too soon.

Making your offer “time-limited” can be a good way to get the other party to come forward with their best offer.

So, whether you are negotiating a multi-million dollar deal, a raise in your salary or which movie to see with your spouse —your timing will determine your success.

Article by Kevin Ryan, an international speaker, workshop leader and author with Training Edge International. E-mail enquiries@trainingedgeasia.com or visit www.trainingedgeasia.com

Boost Your Reputation

Reputations either open doors or slam them shut, and if it’s the latter, there’s no better time than now to resolve to do things differently in future.

People make judgments about business and individuals in an instant. So it pays to have as positive a reputation to keep as many doors open as possible for as long as possible.

However, there’s a catch — even though we’ve been brought up to believe we can control our reputation, the reality is we can’t.

But we can, and should, influence our reputation to stack the odds in our favour and help people think well of us as much as possible.

No doubt there may have been times in the past when you’ve said or done something you know probably won’t make you or your business look as good as it could.

But don’t worry, make the following 10 reputation resolutions and they will help you to create a new and reputation-enhancing future:

1. I resolve to think before I speak. I have two ears and one mouth and I aim to use them in that proportion.

2. I resolve to hold my tongue and count to three before responding to comments and situations that make me angry or defensive, online or off.

3. I resolve to never bad-mouth anyone, in person or on the Internet – ever.

4. I resolve to treat my staff, clients and customers fairly and graciously and value their contributions to our business successes.

5. I resolve to support the people, processes and partnerships operating within my business and ensure they are enhancing, rather than damaging, the reputation of the business.

6. I resolve to be truthful and transparent in my dealings with people and create a climate of mutual trust and respect.

7. I resolve to keep promises I make, both to myself and others, and to avoid over-promising and under-delivering.

8. I resolve to “pay-it-forward” when I can, with no thought of return, and enjoy the pleasure of giving without strings.

9. I resolve to accept responsibility for my actions and behaviours and avoid blaming others.

10. I resolve to avoid jumping to conclusions and labelling people. Rather, I resolve to accept people as they are and welcoming the diversity life brings.

If you focus on one or more that resonates with you, put them into practice, you’ll find yourself attracting clients, customers and opportunities and be perceived as someone people are happy to be associated with and recommend.

Even if you haven’t had much success making and keeping resolutions in the past, these reputation resolutions really could mean the difference between having a reputation you’re proud of, and that opens doors wide, and one that makes it harder for you to achieve what you want to because clients, customers and people around you have doubts about your integrity and ability to deliver.

No matter what has occurred in the past, it’s easy enough to create a new, reputation-enhancing future.

Sometimes, actively “patching things up” with people around you may be required, and sometimes it’s more appropriate simply to “move on” to a more positive future without going over old ground.

Whatever choices you make, if you act with integrity, build trust and accept responsibility for your actions, the chances are you’ll move through 2012 and beyond with a reputation that opens doors and creates huge opportunities.

Certainly, stacking the odds in your favour can help you increase your perceived value and worth, stand out from the crowd for all the right reasons and help create a winning reputation.

Article by Hannah Samuel, international speaker with Training Edge International and an award-winning speaker, columnist and author. She speaks, writes and mentors worldwide on issues around reputation, trust and integrity. E-mail: Hannah@trainingedgeasia.com Website: www.trainingedgeasia.com

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Tell a Good Story

PRESENTATIONS supported by graphs, charts and bullet points can convey facts, but when it comes to creating an emotional connection with other human beings, sales people need another tool — one that engages people, gets them to let down their guard and be willing to be influenced.

The lost art of storytelling

Since the 1990s, storytelling — or the art of business narrative — has been slowly but surely making its way into business communication.

Storytelling is a powerful skill largely under-tapped in a sales environment. The reluctance to use it may stem from the fact that we tend to dismiss something so personal and almost childish, as having no place in a serious business environment.

Used in the proper context and at the right time, telling a story is a means of authentically sharing yourself such that others believe you empathise with their situation, resonate with their inner struggles and that you may have a workable solution.

This is the first step of all human relationships that produce breakthrough outcomes.

Storytelling in sales

To apply storytelling in business, you need to frame your stories to support the purpose of the interaction and the interests of the audience in an authentic manner.

Your own life and day-to-day experience is the best source of good stories. You can also draw from what you read and what you heard from others, as long as it resonates with you.

There are three key elements in constructing a good story:

 Framing: This is arguably the most important step, as you need to introduce the story elements to clearly demonstrate relevance. Be concise and use words that grab attention and generate excitement.

 Action: This is where you tell what happens to the central character, the challenges and problems faced and the actions taken along the journey. You can make this as dramatic as the occasion allows so long as the story does not lose credibility or become long-winded.

 Resolution: Here, you share what finally happens and what lessons the audience should derive from the story. You need to link the conclusion back to why you are sharing the story in the first place. The audience needs to be absolutely clear on what message you wanted them to get.

Here is an example drawn from a real experience:

A few years ago, I was working to secure a huge renewal contract from a key client, a regional bank.

Our software is a complex technical product. My team had executed an excellent service and sales campaign with an airtight business case to boot. Nothing could go wrong, so we thought.

At the last moment, the chief information officer requested we make a presentation to his chairman, who needed to better understand how our software could help the bank.

The day came, and one hour into the presentation, the chairman seemed impatient and even slightly irritated.

While my team of experts was offering complex, jargon-filled explanations, an officer from the bank stepped in to save the day.

She said: ‘Mr Chairman, you know how we aspire to offer our customers the best service through Internet banking? Our biggest headache is to make the older-generation IT systems present data that is real-time, consistent and Internet-ready.

‘This software is like a super-fast universal translator which helps all our IT systems understand each other instantly, retrieve the right information and present them in a single page easily readable by our customers when they log in. No more mistakes, reworking or delays.’

At this, the chairman visibly relaxed. It was clear he got what he needed. The contract was issued the very next day.”

This story can be used to underscore that sales people need to be flexible in presenting the right amount of detail and using language that is appropriate for different types of audiences. 

Give too many details, use too much jargon, speak in the wrong tone — and you may lose the listener (and the sale) altogether.

Storytelling is an easy but powerful means to help you create instant emotional and impactful connection with your customers. It is a game changing leadership skill worth learning and doing well.

Article by Julian Cheong, a senior consultant with Training Edge International who has been a top-performing direct sales and account management professional for the past 17 years. E-mail julian.cheong@trainingedgeasia.com or visit www.trainingedgeasia.com.