Giving feedback to others is a tough skill for managers all over the world, but in Asia it is even more difficult to accomplish for complex social and cultural issues. Feedback is a way to let people know how effective they are in what they are trying to accomplish, or how they affect you. It provides a way for people to learn how they affect the world around them, and it helps us to become more effective. If we know how other people see us, we can overcome problems in how we communicate and interact with them. Many years ago Kenneth Blanchard defined feedback as “the breakfast of champions” Unfortunately for many of us feedback has become associated with "criticism," but this seriously limits its meaning.
Some people experience feedback as pure criticism and don't want to hear it. Others see it as crushing; a confirmation of their worthlessness. Still others only want to hear praise, but nothing that might suggest imperfection. That's not the case for everyone, of course. Some people are willing to accept feedback and seek it out, even if it is sometimes disturbing, because they believe they can grow from it. We all have the right to expect feedback to be given in a respectful and supportive manner.
How you deliver feedback is important because it can be experienced in an extremely negative way. To be effective you must be tuned in, sensitive, and honest when giving feedback. It is a skill that needs to be developed with proper training and constant practice. The following are some helpful hints for providing good feedback.
Feedback should be……
Timely - it should be given as close as possible to the occurrence of the behavior in question to have maximum effect. It should be given at an appropriate time, in an amount the receiver can use, and checked for clarity of communication
Descriptive rather than judgmental/evaluative, directed toward remediable behavior, and designed to elicit an appropriate response.
Specific rather than general (based on first-hand data, actions, and behavior, not on the person or speculation about his or her intentions) giving feedback that includes specific examples of behaviours or actions.
Based on observed behavior or results, not personality.
Feedback that focuses on traits can be seen as a personal attack. (e.g., “You are too passive”)
Used positively. Avoid sweeping statements – words such as “always” or “never” can make people angry and defensive. (e.g., “You always avoid difficult cases” or “You never deliver on time”)
Presented as a method of improvement rather than as a punitive step and used as a method of improving performance and strengthening the professional relationship between manager and member of staff.
Given constructively as issues arise. Praise in public criticise in private. Avoid destructive criticism – it can breed resentment , intensify conflict and may have a negative impact on confidence and motivation.
Thought through, be aware of some possible solutions to problems beforehand.
When receiving any feedback, listen without comment, looking directly at the person. When they have finished, don't make any statements, but do ask questions if you want clarification. Don't accept, don't deny and don't rationalize. Because we are rarely taught to give feedback well, you will often get feedback when the giver is angry about something in the moment.
Recognize the courage it took to give you the feedback and consider it a sincere gift intended to help you grow.Thank the giver for feedback - make it short, but something you can say sincerely, such as "You've really given me something to think about, thanks." It is hard to feel real appreciation when you hear negative messages about your behavior, so it is important to have simple words of gratitude prepared ahead of time.
Know that feedback can be tough to receive, even if we solicit it and are grateful for it.Although it is simply another's perception, it can shake up your feelings about yourself. Plan to do something nice for yourself when you know you are facing tough feedback. Try to do something that bolsters self-esteem - dinner with friends, or engage in an activity that you are particularly good at.
Discuss the feedback with friends or others whose opinions you respect, but ask them not to react to the message.Tell them you are only looking for sympathy for the difficulty of going through a rigorous self-development process, but that you don't want them to agree or disagree with the feedback. It would be normal to want to invalidate negative feedback, and to get others to help you, but you will lose what may be a critical grain of truth if you do.
Article Contributed by Chris Fenney, Co-founder and Director of Training Edge International
Email : chris.fenney@trainingedgeasia.com
Website : www.trainingedgeasia.com
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